​TRANSITIONS
“What are their names?” 
“What are they like?”
“Do they have any kids?”
“Do they have any pets?”
“What school am I going to go to?”

The questions hung there, unanswered, growing stale. This was the moment when first time Cedar Valley foster parents Natalie & Matt sat down with the six-year-old they were fostering to tell him of his next placement. However, there was little information to give.
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Children in the foster care system often find themselves in situations of inconsistency; and while decisions about their current and future whereabouts are a collaborative effort, the trials of adjusting are something that a child is left to navigate themselves. 

Natalie and Matt took their first placement in early September, welcoming a one-year-old girl and a six-year-old boy into their home, in addition to their two biological children, a son who was also six-years-old, and a four-year-old daughter. Natalie laughs when she tells us that initially, the two boys’ competitive attitudes made things interesting. The toddler they were also fostering was making connections and bonds as well, often even in tears when she was left without her foster parents for even a short amount of time. 

Before they knew it, Natalie and Matt were 5 months into their first placement, and for what could have been the first time in these two children’s lives, love and security were finally being established. 
    “we got to a place after they had been with us for about 5 months, where we were all in a good spot, and the kids were sleeping and eating and the oldest was doing great at school, and the kids had bonded.” - Natalie

But living life within the foster care system, for both guardian and child alike, means that there are always changes on the way, regardless of whether or not you see them coming. Due to a miscommunication in terms of privacy, Natalie and Matt were left to re-evaluate their situation; unsure how to move forward. After some extensive discussion with partner resources and support from other foster parents, the two came to realize that their best option was one of the hardest calls for a foster parent to make: the decision to disrupt the placement. 

And while the shift from loving home to loving home may not seem like a big deal to some, this move is still extremely harmful to the development of a child in the foster care system. It goes without saying that there is still trauma in transitions where routines are broken, attachments are severed, and healing is interrupted. 

Natalie and Matt never expected to have to make this decision, and they were beyond heartbroken. Natalie explains that after having given a months notice to their caseworker before the transition needed to occur, the first time foster parents prepared the two for the move with great care and sensitivity;
    “We’ve heard of kids getting moved from foster homes and they just cram a couple of things into garbage bags and send them out the door, but we wanted to try to treat them in the same way as if we were moving our own kids somewhere, we tried to box up everything nicely and label it and we sent with them everything that was theirs.”

“Because they’d been with us over Christmas, Natalie interjects, through tears, “they’d gotten toys, they’d gotten gifts….”

As the transition to a new placement finalized, Matt, Natalie, and their biological kids said their goodbyes. What couldn’t be foreseen, however, was how difficult this was on their bio kids as well; 
     “Before they were even out in the car our bio son just started sobbing and our daughter has asked about the baby girl quite regularly since then,” Matt tells us. 

Even though the love in their house was certainly never wasted, the experience was still a heartbreaking one. Despite all of it, Natalie and Matt still plan to move forward in their journey as foster parents, 
    “There are so many kids in that scenario, even if all we do is provide five months of a loving, caring place for them to be, that might be the only real family that they ever experience. I don’t think we can underestimate the effect that has on kids.”

​4/17/19

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EMERGENCY PLACEMENT

Foster Family Zach and Ambrosia know that part of their job as foster parents is to simply be able to roll with it, and being a household that has opened their door to emergency placements means there is just no telling how each day is going to end up.

​Having just returned from family vacation, Ambrosia had just settled in for a quiet evening when she got the first
call of the night; a DHS worker with four kids in their care had been driving for hours, and the original placement had just fallen through. Being a foster family that often gets 5-6 calls a week, this was a regular occurrence. Zach and Ambrosia had been called in hopes that they might take two children for the night. After listening to the situation at hand, Ambrosia explained to the DHS worker that she couldn’t make this decision alone, and first had to speak with her husband;

           “We always try to have a family discussion to make sure everyone is okay with it before we accept a new placement.”

But after some careful deliberation, they knew that the timing wasn’t right, and together Zach and Ambrosia initially declined.  Later into the evening, however, around 8 pm, the phone rang once more: still, no placements had been found, and Ambrosia realized that all four children were really just searching for a place to sleep. With this in mind, Ambrosia gives DHS permission to bring all four kids into their home and hangs up to let her husband know that in about ten minutes time, there would be company arriving at the door.

“Well, I guess I’ll unload the dishwasher,” Zach joked initially; telling the story later, he says, “and just like that, we went from a family of five to a family of nine!”

After a nearly sleepless night of introductions and adjustments, Ambrosia brought all four children in to receive physicals. Amongst the four of them, there was very little evidence of care, and all were in need of vaccines and medication.

Later that evening, two of the four children had found homes and the remainder of the bunch were to be moved to a new placement in Clear Lake. However, because there was no transport available to them until morning, the final two would be spending the night in a shelter. Not in favor of this outcome, Ambrosia made additional plans and took the children to Clear Lake on her own that night.

Since then, Zach and Ambrosia have continued to follow the case, and continue making a difference in the lives of children in foster care with the support of communities like Cedar Valley Angels;

“It’s a beautiful ugly mess, and it’s hard but so many beautiful things can come from it, and as long as you keep laughing like Zach and I do, you will get through it.”

3/21/19

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